This is How You Argue Kwa Facebook

So you have something to say. You have mulled over what it is that you want to write down for a couple of minutes. In your mind, it makes a lot of sense. All you want to do is express yourself. DON’T. But if you don’t heed my advice to keep your thoughts to yourself because these streets are not ready for you, I should offer my humble counsel and prepare you for battle.

Before we begin, ensure that you have sufficient stock of Kung Fu energy drink for this one coffee will not do, we need something stronger. You must also be connected to unlimited internet or have enough bundles. Don’t even think of using free Facebook for this, we need to see all the images in high definition. Make sure that your schedule is also cleared, you must respond in real-time. If you are the sensitive type refer back to my initial advice and do not type anything napapata. The last thing you need know is what is it that you want to talk about, if you want to talk about entrepreneurship, health, the environment, or even sex then you are safe. But Kwa Facebook the moment you meddle on politics and religion be ready for bruises. Topics on politics evoke special feelings in people.

I admire your bravery already for your insistence to post your thoughts and especially on the two topics that I have cautioned you against. Anyway, we have our Kung Fu and internet data so we are armoured. You go ahead and post on what you think is a logical statement. You have read it twice and click post. The status goes out into the world in a blink of seconds, it will begin to pop on your friends and family’s timelines. Some people will like it, the majority will ignore it and for those select few that decide to comment are the ones to be wary of.

You see everyone on Kwa Facebook has an opinion some are just too busy share it with you, some have made a profession of posting on Mwebantu, Kalemba, Zambia Watchdog, Simon Mwewa Lane and Chilufya Tayali pages. When you combine free Facebook, loadshedding and lots of time, it’s a dangerous combo. All it will take is someone to misunderstand your status and interpret it the way they wish to. You will attempt to get your point across and they will tell you theirs. They will tell you what you should have said even though that is not how you wanted to say it. You will take a sip of your Kung Fu energy drink because it is beginning to get tense, the tone will change as it begins to deviate from civility. Do not try to steer it in the right direction, you need to reserve your energy.

It will reach a point where your status will be shared by strangers and then other people will begin to join the discussion. At this juncture, it will no longer be about the status but it will get personal. People Kwa Facebook are known for not sticking to the topic so do not be surprised when they begin to talk about the way you look even though you absolutely had no part to play in that. The shape of your nose or the thickness of your lips might soon take centre stage. But you must not be swayed, stand your ground and defend your right to your opinion. If you can take it up to this level the back and forth, it is about to get worse.

The idea that your status will be discussed on its merit and reasonable debate to ensue should be banished at this stage. If your profile is public, then all the pictures you have ever taken will be snatched. They will look for the most awkward picture you have ever taken even if it was posted 10 years ago. There is a possibility that it will be photoshopped, people have quite an expansive imagination so brace yourself. It is during this period that they will find your spouse if you have one, if you are single warn your exes, children, sister, brothers and everyone connected to you will become fair game. Do not expect any of them to come to your defence, this is one battle you must fight solo and do not encourage them to respond.

After three hours or so of trying to reason with people you do not know, it will begin to get exhausting. But do not quit, do not show any sign of weakness. Do not apologise or delete the post that window is only open for the first 30 minutes of the status going up. They will have one last card to pull out, they will go for your ancestors. The one’s we have long buried. Your great, great grandfather’s bones will not be spared. They will curse you from the tip of your hair to your toenail. If they had the powers to send a plague your way they would do it. We must remain resolute like Pharaoh.

Eventually, your eyes will tell you it is time to sleep. You will try to read a few more comments, which have reached 1,000+. You will continue to read a few of them, and Sia’s song Titanium will come to mind, “I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose; Fire away, fire away….” The truth is some of the words will sting, they will ring in your mind for weeks. However, you should be comforted by the fact that people on Kwa Facebook also have short memories this will not last. They will move on to the next corruption scandal or another brave soul will make another political comment and take the spotlight. And you what will you be left with, may I suggest the perfect material for a TEDxLusaka talk.

Why You Need to See Black Panther More Than Once

There is a risk with watching a movie on a premiere night, especially one like Marvel's Black Panther whose marketing ships set sail months before its release. From the time the release date was announced in June 2017 to the first trailer, I knew this film was going to be epic. From the majority black cast, to the actors themselves ̶ Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, Angela Bassett and Forest Whitaker to mention but a few (can you imagine if Viola and Denzel were in this too, that would have been heaven). This was turning into a cultural event not only in the USA but in Zambia too, the early reviews were impressive and so were pre-ticket sales. The risk is that when you enter the cinema on a premiere night, there is this euphoria that sweeps everyone up and the wave carries you throughout the movie only to drop you when the credits roll.

 

Black Panther poster

If you have not yet watched Black Panther, this is the point you stop reading. SPOILERS AHEAD! When I walked into the theatre in my red dashiki print shirt (it seemed to be Dashiki Day), popcorn and drink in hand, I was ready for this movie to show as was the rest of the battalion in the auditorium. From the moment Okoye tells T’Challa, “Don’t freeze.” And he responds, “I never freeze.” Then drops from that plane, space ship machine, the audience roared and clapped. The atmosphere was infectious, and everyone joined in unison. This was only the beginning, in almost every other scene there was something happening among the characters of Killmonger, Okoye, Shuri, or T’Challa that whipped the audience into a frenzy.  When T’Challa appears on the battle front to face Killmonger, some people rose up to raucous applause. Under normal circumstances, this stadium like atmosphere would infuriate me while watching any other movie, but Black Panther is not just any other movie. It is a statement. This is a reference; it is the movie by which all other black movies will be judged by regardless of the genre. So, I went along for the Wakanda ride as I watched the African culture and pride shine through the screen.

Sometimes trailers can be false advertising; they can be like a bag of potato crisps full but once popped you realise the fullness was all air. As I walked out of the cinema I felt like going to join the queue to buy another ticket for the next showing. I replayed the movie in my head scene by scene but because of all the clapping, jeering, cheering, standing up and snickering comments some scenes come back vague. Later I discovered there was not only one post credit scene but two. I did the most logical thing of course, I went back to the cinema for my encore.

This time the experience was different; the claps were more reserved, the screaming to the characters non-existent and no one dared to stand up after any fight scene. What was striking with my encore viewing was I was still impressed with the visuals but this time I heard the dialogue word-for-word. My goodness the wisdom and truths in Black Panther, I wasn't ready. For instance, when Killmonger speaks to the lady in the museum, and she says the artefact is not for sale. His response is, “How you think your ancestors got it? You think they paid a fair price?” or when T’Chaka says this about Killmonger to T’Challa, “He was the truth I chose to omit.” And then the mother of all quotes drumroll please. Killmonger’s final words are, “Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped from the ships. Because they knew that death was better than bondage.”

Black Panther has a lot of stunning visuals from the melanin, to the colours, landscape, and culture that the first time you watch it is difficult not to be awed. There is a chance you can miss the subtle and subliminal messages that underline the movie, which if picked up takes the movie to a whole other level. Trust me this Black Panther will continue to be dissected and stripped apart until the very last word on the credits because it is the type of movie that allows that to happen. At this stage the probability of a third viewing is high. #WakandaForever

The Gun, the Man or the Woman?

This morning I woke up to a discussion in one of the Whatsapp groups I am in about another murder that happened last evening. Nshinka Kaputu shot dead his girlfriend Precious Mangesana outside his house in Ibex Hill Meanwood. Their two-year-old daughter was also shot too but survived and is currently in hospital. When such incidents happen, we often know when, what and how it happened, but it is why it happened that is perhaps the most difficult question to answer.

There are a number of theories that emerge as we the unknowing public try to put the pieces together. In order, to find some plausible explanation that will satisfy our conscience, it is easier to find someone or something to blame. We hope that by finding the reason perhaps we can be able to prevent future incidents from happening. However, if the latest trends are anything to go by we are nowhere near to finding the solution.

In this case, there have been three parties that have already shared the blame- the gun, the man and the woman. Why did the man have a gun? If he did not have a gun, then he would not have killed the girlfriend. Any other tool would have made it much tougher for him to execute his plans. The death by a bullet is swift and often people do not survive. Therefore, all those with guns in their households need to reconsider whether it is worth having one.

Then some of the blame has been on the man. Why did he have to make such an irrational decision? Did he think about the repercussions of his action? His girlfriend is dead and the daughter has now been left motherless and potentially an absent father. Friends and family have lost a loved one. Why didn’t he have his emotions in control? The list of questions can go on and on, but until Nshinka tells us what happened in those few minutes and seconds before he pulled the trigger all we can do is speculate. Then there is one thing that most people avoid talking about, what was the mental health situation of Nshinka? Often times we assume that we are a homogenous bunch when it comes to our feelings, emotions and reactions. The truth of the matter is we all react differently to different situations.

The woman. Why didn’t she just walk away? Why did she go there at night? Didn’t she see the signs earlier that she was with an unstable man? She should have known better. The sad reality of all this is that the person who could give us the answers is no longer around. There is the temptation to blame the victim in such situations, the same way we blame the woman for not walking out of an abusive relationship. I have read and heard far too many stories of women staying with a man who pounds them to a pulp. I ask myself, why don’t they just pack their bags and leave? What many of us fail to realise is we over simplify issues of this nature. Walking out of a relationship should be as easy as saying our ABCs. We forget the role that societal pressure plays, sometimes children are involved, the emotional investment, or hope that things would get better. However, one important thing that we forget is that other people are not us. We cannot place our own expectations on them and expect them to behave the way we would when placed in certain situations.

Nshinka is currently in custody, and the police are doing their investigations. We may choose to slice and dissect this incidence in many ways as we attempt to put the pieces of this puzzle together, but we may never arrive at the whole truth. We can come up with valid reasons to blame the gun, man or woman and how all this could have been prevented. We can wish that a similar incidence never happens, but it will. We cannot ignore the state of mind of both Nshinka and Precious at the time that this tragedy took place. It is difficult to attempt to understand what led Nshinka to do what he did, but if we begin to label him as an insane, evil, or a mad person, we should not end there. We should equally go further and ask what led him to that, and how do we help others from reaching that point too.

How do you think we can prevent another incident from happening?

Not Another Whatsapp Group Again

The other day I was having a meeting for an event. Then someone suggested we form a Whatsapp group for communication purposes. In my heart, I cringed.

Immediately I broke into binding and loosing whatever spirit had come up with that thought. Banishing it to the deepest of the farthest pit of oblivion and rebuking all other forces (ok I am exaggerating this part).

I am well aware of what happens in Whatsapp groups I already belong to 22 of them and believe me it is a full-time job keeping up to date with all of them. Quite frankly only a handful of them make sense and have real significance to my life. For the rest, I am this guy below.

I pop in and out of the groups just to make sure I have not missed anything. Most times I do not miss anything at all. A group that was created for business is sharing about football, one created for church is sharing food recipes and another simply has no direction it is open season- politics, entertainment, education, job adverts, baby pictures all thrown in for good measure. The day my entire clan decide to form a Whatsapp group that will the death of me. My family is something special they need a reality TV show on an exclusive channel of their own.

The last I checked the worst part about groups is that it does not need my permission to be added into a group. Whether I like it or yes, someone can just drag me in.

Once added to a group, I brace myself for that one individual who will post some recycled picture, joke or video that has been circulating in about all the other 1000 groups around. Then the ambush of nonsense will come flooding in.

 I cannot count the number of times I am tempted to click 'Exit group' but I am not brave enough to do it most times. It feels like openly denying an invitation to belong to a select group of people. And when I see someone leave a group, I am breaming with envy because they are finally free. They have escaped the Mukobeko of Whatsapp groups. In all their genius, I do not know why Whatsapp did not create a discrete way of leaving a group without making a public announcement.  It is long overdue and can someone tell Zuckerburg to get on it.

The next thing I do is mute the bloody thing for one year. If it had an option for 10 years trust me, I would be clicking that option too.

I get to bed in the evening at 23: 00 hours and my phone has no messages. I wake up in the morning only to discover 125 unread messages. I then wonder how people manage to text at the witching hour of 02:30?

What is even more amazing is that others have the time to get into a conversation, argue and make up all while I was still asleep.

For all the ease in communication that Whatsapp comes with, there are piles of Whatsapp groups that I am sure we can all do away with. And I definitely do not need another Whatsapp group whose notifications will just drain my battery. Forgive me if I am not skipping in joyous applause at the creation of a group. I am certain I have left many other horror stories about Whatsapp groups, I sure you can help me out.

DISCLAIMER: I have created Whatsapp groups and I behave like a headmaster in them.

Here We Beat People Who Attempt Suicide

Last week, a man jumped from the unfinished building along Katondo street in Lusaka. This was a suicide attempt and fortunately even though the man jumped from 11 storeys he survived. However, you would think the first thing that the crowd would do was be willing to help, call an ambulance or break into prayer, but instead they wanted to beat up the man. The crowd wanted blood. It was a clear representation of how suicide is still viewed by some people in our society. It was a shame of the highest order.

 

Abandoned building along Katondo

Suicide is still viewed as a weakness. Forget the fact that it might be as a result of a number of issues such as depression, mental illness, emotional troubles and other problems that cannot be seen like a wound. This has been my contention for a very long time. We know how to be empathetic towards someone who is sick, who has a bandage or someone who is injured, but we are miles away from understanding mental wounds and scars.

I do not know what would have caused the man to want to take his life. Regardless of the reason, I would never view his action as cowardice. However, that is how many have been programmed to view suicide, as an easy way out. When someone has malaria, tuberculosis, or a headache, we immediately urge them to go to the hospital. You buy them fruits, give them medication, sleep by their bedside and tend to their every need until they get better. But where does someone who is depressed go, someone with post-traumatic stress disorder, or schizophrenia? Who is there to take care of them? In this rainy season, there are public announcements reminding us to boil or chlorinate our water. We are warned to visit the nearest health centre if we have any symptoms of cholera. However, I have hardly heard any such public announcements for people who are depressed or are facing mental challenges. Where is their hotline?

Do we assume that because it is in the mind and there is nothing bleeding it is not a serious illness? Worse still do we even believe that it is an illness? When people believe that the best way to treat the man who attempted suicide is to beat the hell out of him, we should be ashamed of ourselves as a society. Who in their rightful mind would beat someone who is sick of malaria or cancer? Yet we want to teach the person who wants to take their life a lesson. The crowd wanted to land punches and kicks before they asked the reason why? Some in the crowd could even be heard urging him to jump. The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds.

We need to make it okay for people to talk about depression, suicidal thoughts, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar, or the voices they hear in their heads. This is a health problem, and it cannot be shooed away like a mosquito. People need someone to talk to. Others might require medication, and some might require checking into a hospital. We need more health centres with the capacity to treat mental illnesses. This is not a problem for the church or government to deal with; this is our problem. I sincerely hope that the man who wanted to end his life gets the right kind of help he needs.