I wish the person who came up with Valentine’s Day was still alive so I could throw a huge brick in his face, wait maybe it was a lady. Who cares whoever it was should have been the culprit we should have been lynching at the stake. Every 14th February I wish I could go into a cave and hide. It is arguably one of the most cliché days that exists and as an individual who abhors clichés it is absolute torture.
People say that it is Lovers Day, trying to exalt it beyond any normal day in February . I don’t really have anything against the motive of the day itself even if at the back of my mind I can’t get past its dark history. (Yes, this is the version that I want to believe even though many people have their own versions about the day. I fail to shake it off). I just do not appreciate things that are usually blown out of proportion. It’s perhaps the greatest show of adult peer pressure that exists. The shops all of a sudden start displaying red dresses, red neck ties, red shoes, red chocolates, red wine, red toilet paper, red toothpaste and the list is endless. Then on the actual day you see all these people clad in red, and the reason, it is valentines. Forget the fact that the person may not have a significant other in their life, it does not matter.
In Zambia we have even altered it to mean a day to just show love to whoever is special in your life. Father, mother, children, grandparents, friends and even the dog if you love it that much can be thrown in for good measure. So Valentine’s Day has become one huge ‘Love Fest’ that I have not yet managed to get both my sane and lunatic side of my brain to comprehend. Last year I was receiving Happy Valentine messages as if someone was wishing me a Merry Christmas. How do you respond to such messages, “Happy Valentines to you too?” and which is supposed to mean what? Awe kwena pa Zed che.
I will say what almost every guy is afraid to tell their girlfriends and wives. I just bought you presents two months ago for Christmas, do you know how hard it is to think of something different so soon. Besides, your birthday is coming up, there is the anniversary, Christmas again in December. Guys you are welcome, consider me your Martyr. It is not that we do not enjoy buying the presents, it is just that it is hard to be creative when you have gotten your special one all there is to get. Trust me the presents will be jewelry, chocolate, wine, cards, flowers, teddy bear, dinner for two, perfume or lingerie for the ladies. While the guys it will most likely be watches, cologne, socks, tie or handkerchief, yawn! It is very different to think of innovative things to get the significant other. I think we can all do without the stress, well I think we guys can, even though few will admit it at this time.
A lady friend told me something very funny, that during this time there is nothing her husband can do that will make her upset. All is forgiven, Valentine’s Day is just on Friday. Then after that ‘Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned’. In the end I guess this is more about her. I think I would have a different view if Valentine’s Day was a public holiday until then I need to look for a cave. A humble request, please don’t send this blog post to my girlfriend.