say, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". I do not what we might be called when we are
fooled for the umpteenth time and we keeping falling for it. There must
definitely be an explanation for it. I can excuse a primary school friend for
forgetting my name. I can excuse a person who has been through an accident for
forgetting their date of birth. I can forgive a person who has amnesia for
forgetting what they did the previous day. However, what I fail to excuse is
where people pretend to forget the pains, suffering, and joys that they went
through because of denial. As we press towards the presidential elections
people have deliberately decided to switch on their selective amnesia buttons.
January 2015 is the day of reckoning, on the ballot paper we shall have the
contenders, pretenders and unfortunately the time wasters. Did I just say time wasters, no I wasn't talking about Alex
Muliokela. Of the contenders we have the Movement for Multi-Party Democracy
(MMD), Patriotic Front (PF) and United Party for National Development (UPND).
It is only the UPND party that has not tasted the presidency. However, with
that being said, it is amazing at how some current debates among ourselves and
social media refuse to recognise the last 23 years of multi party democracy
that we have gone through. Most of us have a good idea of what we went through
and the records are therebut instead
opt to gloss over the issues.
were made some pretty good promises not only in 2011 but in 2008, 2006, 2001,
1996 and 1991 too. Every other election we hear the sugar coatings that make
our ears tingle and our hearts to beat in anticipation. We are told a slew of
words that resonate with our needs and we believe that the presidential
candidates are our saviours and our path ways to our destinies. The promises
roll off their tongues and we raise our hands in hopeful applause. As soon as
the person becomes the president, they do as they please. They give us crumbs
of what they said, and break every other promise they made with one line as compensation.
few weeks ago, I had a discussion with a friend about the presidential
candidates. There was one statement that he made that has stuck with me. It
was, "They are politicians." It then dawned on me that yes they are
politicians, so what? Should I come to believe that because they are
presidential candidates then I deserve to be lied to, endure unfilled promises,
watch while my country is driven to ruins while someone chews a drumstick, applaud
while I watch them whisked away for treatment while my brothers and sisters die
in our hands. God forbid.
say politics is a dirty game, well I already have mud so let's play. As long as
some politicians continue to believe this nonsense that they can tell us
whatever their imagination cooks up, they must think again. It is not a matter
of forgetting and comforting ourselves by accepting that is politics. It is a time
such as this one that we should judge politicians against what they said and
what they have done. If they have broken too many promises, chuck them out. If
it means putting a new political party every five years may it be so until it
sinks in. That is when they will understand that you do not bwata bwata anyhow . The time of
glossing over previous mistakes and unfulfilled campaign declarations should
not be tolerated. It is difficult to make a case for someone who fulfilled 1
promise and yet broke 99 others. We need to remind each other of what they said
and what they have done thus far. It is to hold them accountable with the
responsibility we have given them. They are not doing us a favour by being
the MMD and the PF have had the privilege of having their party presidents
being president of the country, therefore, we can judge how the parties have
done. UPND should also be warned against making promises that they have no
intention of keeping should they have their president voted into power. This is
not about a presidential candidate who has a nice smile, attends church, or he
was once a boy scout. It is about someone who is prepared to do what they say
they will do. If politicians are in the habit of not fulfilling their campaign
promises, I on the other hand can make them a promise. Should you not fulfil
your campaign promises, come next general elections I am voting for your
president dies and the political leadership of an entire country is thrown in
disarray. The death of the late Zambian President Michael Chilufya Sata on 28
October 2014, led to the tail spin of this political chaos that we are in and
we are unsure where it will land. The intra-party fighting in the Patriotic
Front and the resurrection from the tomb of old guards such as former president
Rupiah Banda in the Movement for Multiparty Democracy, is a sign. The
leadership baton was not passed.
late Dr. Myles Munroe may his soul rest
in peace, gave a striking interview in which he spoke about the current
leadership dilemma in the world. In the interview he mentioned that he had a
dream in which a track athlete was in the coffin clutching on the baton.
According to Dr. Munroe it meant, "It was about people dying with the
baton. Instead of passing it on, I was thinking the young person whose supposed
to lead next would have to go that casket. Pry the baton out of the dead man's
hands just to take it to the next leg.... This is what we are struggling with
here, people would rather die with the position than pass it on."
watching that video I can definitely relate to it on a personal level. Whether
we like it or not, Michael Sata, died with the baton in his hand. He did not
pass it to the next person to lead this country. We may never know the reason
why, but in that aspect he failed Zambia. Now we have all these leaders having
to have to wrestle the baton from his hand. The sad part about it is some of
the people trying to get hold of the baton were never in the relay race in the
first place. Perhaps inspired by the wind, a truth or dare joke, or sheer
disillusionment some people believe they can lead Zambia.
Passing on of the baton
is a shame that we were never able to spot future leaders while Sata had the
baton. The leader who would take this country forward. Focus it on the issues
that we need to deal with, such HIV/AIDS, poverty, education, and health care.
Instead we find ourselves discussing whether someone is an alcoholic or not, was
kind enough to buy Sata a car or to honour a family name. We have leaders who
retired and now in remembrance of the life they had see an opportunity to be
taken advantage of. And then there are those leaders who instead of inspiring
me with words, choose to offer me eggs and milk. Ala. We should never have
got to this in the first place.
time January 2015 is winding down, we shall have a new president. I pray the
person will be a good leader. Someone who is willing to serve and not make up
for lost time in filling up their personal bank account. I hope it will be a
leader who will inspire future leaders, someone who refuses to use the word
"I" but instead uses "We" for they know that it is the
"We" that will take Zambia to the skies. Finally, I pray that we
shall have a leader who will know when their leg of the race is done, and
gladly pass on the baton.
The last few
days I've received lots of queries as to what this 'I'm The Next 50 yrs' is
about. It's not a campaign, it's not a movement, it's not even a Straight Up
agenda (assuming you know what Straight Up is. Lol) So a few weeks ago, Pastor
Walker Schurz announced to the congregation that on the 26th of October, the
Sunday service gig will be dedicated to celebrating Zambia's 50 years of
Independence. He went on to encourage the church to come dressed all 'Zed out'
as possible. I knew that a Chipolopolo jersey replica would be the easiest rig
to wear (Thanks to Afcon 2012. Lol). Sadly I don't own a Chipolopolo replica (BUT
I do own a Power Dynamos one though, hahaha). I sat through the service
thinking to myself what would be the most meaningful thing to wear on that day.
I just didn't want to wear Zambian colours or anything written Zambia on it for
the sake of it. I wanted to communicate something to my country. Not just a
cool statement. I wanted to make a pledge to this place.
My mind then
took me four weeks back. The Straight Up team has been putting up a lil' sumn'
sumn' for this year's Independence Day. We've had to do research into
activities that have taken place since 1964. We went through the National Achieves,
museum, ZANIS library, Times of Zambia library, University of Zambia library,
history books etc. This made me realise how young Zambia is. Fifty years seems
like yesterday (am sure Kaunda would say that). Though it feels like yesterday,
so much has happened in this country. I got to read newspapers from as far back
as the '70s and I can report that it felt like reading a recent paper of 2014,
sadly so. I kid you not 1st December, 1997 the Times of Zambia for example had
a headline 'Wage Freeze Stays'.... If you have been reading the news of late,
you know what's hot right now.lol.
going through the last 50 years has shown me that we are what we are as a country
today because of the decisions people made. People made good and bad decisions
which have shaped us as a people. My mind then took me to the next 50 years and
I imagined a ka young Alinani reading
about Zambia's 100 years history. What will he read? What will he say about the
people of 2014-20164? What future would he have inherited? Things he'll write
about me would be that I talked too much and did little. I criticised
government didn't offer solutions. I told social media how government should be
run and yet I never offered myself up for leadership. I told people how to play
the game yet I never got onto the field. I laughed and made fun of people that
tried and failed. I never gave back to my community. I got my UNZA degree just
for me. I didn't know who my neighbours were. I cheated in my business. I gave
in to corruption because I wanted to be like the next guy. I lost objectivity
in my debates because I knew it all. I was so gullible that everything I'd read
was gospel truth. I didn't take correction. I forgot about the place I came
from. I participated in a 21st century type of 'Berlin Conference' and sold my
country's economy to the highest bidder. Dag the list is long!!! Is this what I
want Alinani of 2064 to read about me? To be honest? NO.
How will I
make sure that young Alinani of 2064 is inspired by my life, I'll make a
personal challenge to be a better person and contribute to the well being of my
neighbour and the country as a whole. I'm not going to be perfect. I'll make
mistakes, I'll fail and fall but that should be because I tried and aimed to
make the life of my fellow citizen and country better. I'll do my part through
something am passionate about, and that's my hustle. Olo entrepreneurship as it's popularly called. It's probably one of
the toughest roads to roll on but probably the most rewarding to a nation.
So am not
going to imagine what Zambia would have been had Nkumbula or Kapwepwe instead
of Kaunda or Arthur Wina instead of Chiluba or Mazoka instead of Mwanawasa or
Sata instead of RB (in 2008) been President. Instead, I'll imagine what Zambia
will be in 2064 if I become a responsible citizen and intentionally do MY part
(in private or in public, famous or unknown, paid or pro bono). So that's the story
behind the 'I'm The Next 50yrs' chitechi and
the T-shirts. It's a personal challenge. But if you feeling it, feel free to
run with it palobe
The story of
Oscar Pistorius aka The Blade Runner is one that resembles a Greek tragedy, a
Fall from Grace, the burning out of the candle, you get the picture. It all began on Valentine's Day 14 February
2013 and came to its conclusion on 21 October 2013, even though I reckon there
are a few more chapters to be written in this story. A sports hero who fatally
killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp while she was in the toilet. This trial
was supposed to be the OJ Simpson case of the 21st Century, but I
think someone forgot to hand judge Masipa the script for how The Oscar Pistorius
trial was supposed to play out.
The Blade Runner
I was young
and we did not have satellite TV at the time that the OJ Simpson trial was airing
in the United States of America in 1994. I only got to know the drama
surrounding the whole case only a few years ago. And yes who can forget the
glove in the OJ case. I guess I am a little guilty of thinking that the Pistorius
case would be as dramatic, nail biting and highly entertaining. It had these in
shades of grey, thank you for that judge
Masipa. This trial began on 3 March 2014 with a bang, it was high rating
must see TV. Everyone in the office was talking about it, waiting for that case
defining witness, confession of Oscar after the prosecutor bludgeons him with
questions, or the lawyers going at one another's throat. This is the case that
I wanted to see, someone forgot to tell me that things do not work like that in
the world, damn you John Grisham.
of my legal knowledge has come from reading tons of John Grisham legal thrillers-
The Firm, The Client, Runaway Jury, The Testament, King of Tort, The Innocent
Man, The Confession, The Associate, what
haven't I read. I had been brain washed to thinking that Oscar Pistorius
trial would have some semblance to what I was reading. This trial was like
watching the credits at the end of a movie roll, hardly any action. The trial
had dragged and in the end, I had enough and was no longer interested in it
anymore. I relied on twitter for the occasional updates but I ceased being a
devotee. Even the moments when the trial attempted to gather some steam the
judge would take it for a long recess like when Oscar had to go for a
psychological evaluation. I think the
judge wanted to prolong her screen time
as long as lawfully possible.
I do not
wish to comment on whether justice was served or not, like I mentioned I did
not watch the whole trial faithfully. Besides my knowledge of the South African
law is too limited for me to draw a conclusion, so I will not be rushing to
condemn the 5 year conviction he has been given. Before I decide what would
have constituted justice, I will wait for Hollywood to make the movie, then I
will give my verdict. In the mean time, I am just glad this trial is over
because it had overstayed its welcome in the media.
The Budgetwas presented to the National
Assembly by the Minister of Finance Hon. Alexander Chikwanda on 10 October
2014. Every year people anticipate the budget to get a feel of what to except
in the coming year and how much of the slice of the national cake has been
given to them. For the business minded we review the budget to see where the
opportunities lie. Well not every business minded person will have the time to
read the 24 paged documented. So this is the summary for those entrepreneurs
too busy (or lazy) to read the entire budget presentation.
for the 2015 Budget is, "Celebrating
Our Golden Jubilee as One Zambia One Nation by Making Economic Independence a
Reality for All." From the theme one can get that the government will
continue to strive for economic independence.
The minister announced that in the coming year it is estimated that
120,000 new formal jobs will be created in the private sector. I reckon these
120,000 will probably come from the financial and information technology
sectors. He further mentioned that inflation is expected to remain in the
single digit, which is a good thing.
of the most interesting things in the 2015 Budget is that Government will
reduce its shareholding in ZCCM Investment
Holding from the current 87% to 60%. Therefore offloading 27%
of the shares to the Zambian citizens. ZCCM-IH has shares in a majority of the
Zambian Mines and for the Zambians who want a stake these look like attractive
shares to consider purchasing.
industries singled out as the key sectors in the budget are agriculture,
tourism, manufacturing and construction sectors. I wonder why the arts are not a key sector. One can only expect
that there will be incentives in these key sectors to make them flourish and be
the engines of the above 7% GDP growth rate that the Governments expects to
entrepreneurs into agriculture the budget mentions that Government is keen on
diversification away from maize as it accounts for over two thirds of the
entire agriculture budget. This would imply that Government will promote other
crops such as rice and millet. They are also looking at supporting conservation
farming involving a total of 84,000 farmers in 31 districts. The Minister of Finance did mention that the
national fish consumption stood at 130,000 metric tonnes. The current
production stood at 95,000 metric tonnes. This implies that the additional
35,0000 metric tonnes had to be imported. He also noted that only 20,000 metric
tonnes of the 95,000 metric tonnes
production was via aquaculture. Therefore, there would be reforms that
would assist enterprising citizens in the private sector to get into
acquaculture. So if you were considering
fish farming, next year might me a good time to start. The critical thing I
found missing from the agriculture sector was the marketing side of the
produce. There are definitely flaws in the system and the farmers in the rural
areas are especially susceptible to exploitation and one would have figured
that there would have been something in the budget to help give them fair price
for their produce.
Next year is
going to be a good year in manufacturing. The minister directed all Government
Departments to give preference to locally produced goods in line with the
Industrialisation and Job Creation Strategy. Also effective 1 January 2015
Government will remove the voucher system applicable on such imports.
Government is committing more funds to recapitalise DBZ (the amount was not
mentioned). Additional funds will be
allocated to the Citizens Economic Empowerment Commission to support value
chain development. The address mentioned that out of the 1,526 approved
projects this year 1,072 projects valued at K48 million have since been funded.
92% of which are in rural areas. I could explain why urban applicants complain
that they find it difficult to receive funding from CEEC, try going to the
rural areas. I would like to know the
success rate of these businesses. The Government also intends to create
Industrial Clusters to promote metal fabrication, timber, and agro-processing,
aquaculture and automotive industry.
Water and Sanitation
urged local authorities to embark on waste to energy projects through the
Public Private Partnership arrangement. If anyone has a business idea around
this, it might be the right time to share it with the local authorities.
Monetary and Financial Policies
still recognises that there are still many citizens in the rural areas who
remain un-banked. Therefore, it will be keen on promoting initiatives that will
ensure that banking services are taken to the rural areas especially through
agency banking. There will also be the implementation of the National Strategy
on Financial Education.
Private Sector Development Reform
reduce the cost of doing business the provision of the Business Regulatory Act
of 2014 will be enacted. This will mainly be around the issuing of licences and
the streamlining of the procedures.
If you are
considering entering the transportation business you may have to think twice
and re-work those business plans. This is because your costs are going to get
higher. The Minister has doubled the presumptive tax for individual operators
of public service vehicles based on vehicle sitting capacity. On the other hand
if you are entering into manufacturing you have a lot to smile about. There
Minister has proposed to increase customs duty on explosives to 25% and on
roofing sheets to 30%. Happy are the
local explosives and roofing sheet makers. There has also been a removal of
5% customs duty on aviation fuel. Hopefully, this will reduce air tickets and
also increase the number of flights into the country.
2015 Budget, has nothing really spectacular about it. I did not find anything
to jump up about as an entrepreneur. There were not as many incentives to drive
any particular sector whether agriculture, tourism, manufacturing forward in
grand scale. For a country that is ever crying for the diversification of the
economy there was nothing much in this budget to indicate that we are on our
way towards that. The budget was also the same as last years with a few tweaks
here and there. The only worth noting element was the offloading of some of the
ZCCM Investment Holding shares to the Zambian public. I guess entrepreneurs
will just have to hassle more.
I have had
the privilege of travelling to a few countries in my short life time. During
the time of my travels, I have visited great places and not so great places. I
have met some wonderful people and not so wonderful people. I always visit new
countries with an open mind and allow myself to experience each place for what
it is. I like to breathe in the fresh air, walk in the streets, see the
buildings and obviously buy stuff. Well it is not so obviously because each
time I go into a shop and see the price tag, in my mind I am already thinking,
"How much is that back home?"
travelled to a few countries I should know better than to convert every price
tag I see into Zambia Kwacha. I will not pretend that I am the exclusive person
who does this, I am sure many people who have travelled to other countries will
relate. You go to KFC and ask for a meal before you buy you are already
recalling the price at Hungry Lion, you get a T-Shirt and your eyes pop when
you see the price before lamenting, "This shirt for this price, its better
I go buy it in Zambia." There seems to be this inherent desire to convert
literally everything, it is quite a tasking exercise.
So this time
around when I made my trip to England, I told myself that I will not convert. I
am in a new country which has a different standard of living. I convinced
myself that I would not convert and allow myself to spend the money freely. I
was managing quite well until I decided
to get a haircut. That was the moment I hit a brick wall. If it was an
addiction, I would have called it the point I relapsed. When I discovered that
I had to part away with £8.50 for a haircut approximately K87, chineke. My mind went straight to my
barber man at Olympia Market who charges me K13 for a haircut and shave mind
you. If someone in Zambia charged me £8.50 for a haircut, I would wish to know
what drugs they were sniffing. I have stopped converting a lot of things but
the haircut is not one them. It is my last form of resistance.
realisation brings to light, that there are some who have an assumption that
things are always cheaper outside. I
used to think that way too. This is based on the assumption that the stuff is
made in these countries therefore must be cheaper. You then hear people
shouting, "Bring me a laptop, bring me a phone, bring me a car if you can
manage." Well the truth is some things are cheaper and others are not (like a haircut).
Can't this be the new trend
I know that
in the next few days my last form of resistance will crumble and I will
eventually have to have this beard and hair cut. The barber man may just have
to use a chainsaw to remove the £8.50 from my gripping fingers. And I cannot
guarantee that a tear won't drop when I release that money. Until then anyone
who asks about my beard, I tell them I am auditioning for a movie and I need to
look the part.
I want to
give you a hug at this moment, I pity you. At 21 years old you still bear the
naivety of a 5 year-old. After I have given you a hug, I want to shake you so
hard that you wake up from the slumber that you seem to be in. Most girl's
childhood dreams are to be princesses, doctors, lawyers, nurses, and models but
there is you. Your childhood dream has been to marry a white man because you
think that us black men are violent and do not treat our spouses properly. I want to give you another hug.
The Post Newspaper Friday 12 September 2014 Front Page
that you are a virgin and have never had a boyfriend, I am a bit confused at
how then you came to the conclusion that black men are violent and do not treat
their spouses right. I assume that you draw your conclusion from what you have
read in the newspapers or have seen happen to your neighbour. In the same vein,
for you think that a white man will treat you better may stem from something
you have seen. It is immature to stereotype an entire race just because of one
unfortunate incidence that you might have know.
Blackophobia that you have needs to be treated. Touch. You live in a country where the majority of the men are
black, therefore you would expect that most of the abuse stories you read or
hear will involve black men. Do not be fooled issues of violence or spousal
mistreatment are not a race issue. Abuse related cases are found in all races.
Instead of you seeing us as abusers, it is time you looked at what led to your
blackophobia. There is a deep rooted problem that you need to overcome and
using us your brothers as you call us as an excuse will not solve your
On the other
had I think that you are confused too. How can the same person who claims that
a white man has strong and unconditional
love for their spouses and respect for their wives be then afraid to leave the
country with them. If you will be safe in their hands shouldn't you then be
safe wherever you will be? The same trouble you took in advertising in The Post
newspaper that you were looking for a white man is the same way you should
advertise that you are seeking help. This is not an issue about the colour of
the man's skin, these are psychological problems.
I am also further intrigued at how The Post
newspaper could dedicate an entire front page of their daily newspaper to you.
No offence to you, but you are not news worthy that you should warrant a front
page headline. I think an insert just before the classifieds would have done
you justice. There are far more important news worthy stories that The Post
newspaper could have placed as a headline rather than you. On the other hand, I
am thinking of going to fart by the fly over bridge, do you think I can get on the
front page too?
have been sliding down the ladder of the FIFA rankings as 14 August 2014 Zambia
was ranked 84th in the world. Soon we might find ourselves outside the top 100.
Yes my beloved Chipolopolo is turning into a minnow of African football. It was
just two years ago when we were African champions and today we are a shadow of our
glory days. Our quest to reclaim the African title began last weekend against
Mozambique and with the latest 2-1 defeat to Cape Verde, we might as well be
writing our eulogy. Wait how do we lose
to Cape Verde? It's Cape Verde no offence, if I have any Cape Verdian readers.
There must be an explanation to our terrible performance and I may have an
answer. It is the jersey.
Great Jersey- We became Champions
other bloggers and writers who will offer you an explanation for the
unfathomable downslide but none of the theories will be able to be as concise
as mine. Some will tell you that it is the coach's poor tactics, the players
that did not show up on the day, incompetent administration, hostile opponents
and even juju if you wish. Still all these explanations are unable to give us
any tangible linkage to the teams dismal performances, that are becoming ever
Ok Jersey- Qualified for AFCON 2013
correlation of Chipolopolo's embarrassing defeats and lackluster shows can be
linked to the jersey. Ever since the jersey went from 'Great' to 'What the Hell
is That?' the performances have also changed from 'Champions' to 'Bottom of the
Qualifying Group' as at today. Moment of
silence please. It must be something do with the Chipolopolo jersey trust
Chipolopolo jersey has been changed twice from the winning jersey and with each
change it has become uglier. It is like Nike are giving an intern some wax
crayons to design the Chipolopolo jersey. I am not fashion savy but I know ugly
when I see it a mile away. The Africa Cup winning jersey could be worn with
pride and the current one, oh my goodness.
The current jersey even if the Football Association of Zambia gave it to me for
free, I would turn it into my pajama. There is no way I would be walking the
streets with that terrible jersey. I think the Chipolopolo boys feel the same.
They might just not have the courage to speak out that the jersey is affecting
What the Hell? Jersey- Might not qualify for AFCON 2015
is simple, give the boys a better looking jersey and the wins will begin to
flow. For now we should just beg Nike not to give the wax crayon to a
pre-schooler lest the results we shall see will take some of us to an early
first republican president, the father of the nation, the agogo, has been turned into a tourist attraction in recent years.
The man turned 90 years old this year but if you look at his recent media schedule
one would be mistaken to think he was 50. The man has lived almost his entire
life in the spotlight and I think it is about time that he was allowed to live
his life in peace. It is annoying that almost everyone who comes to Zambia, wants
to pay a courtesy call on him, take pictures and make some overused rhetoric as
justification. Well I think it is about time to let the first president be.
Dr. Kenneth Kaunda- Zambia's first president
retirement from politics Kaunda has been constantly paraded around in a number
of commercial adverts, opening ceremonies for events and buildings, he is the
chancellor of Cavendish University
Zambia, patron of Habitat for Humanity Zambia, and shakes hands with courtesy
callers. Awe this is too much for the old
man. If other people do not seem bothered by this, well I am. This week the
Confederation of African Football (CAF) inspectors paid a courtesy call on the
first president. Shouldn’t they be
inspecting stadiums somewhere or learning how we make a chipombwa?
and individuals should not take advantage of him by making him endorse their
products and projects. At the age of 90 years old even if the man can still
swing a golf club, he no longer possesses the energy he did in his yester
years. He has done his part for this country and continent, he has done his
job. The individuals, who still feel the urge to meet him so they pay their
respects, should find other means of doing so. They should visit the Freedom
Statue or donate to his foundation.
been happening to Dr. Kenneth Kaunda is almost reminiscent to what used to
happen to the late Nelson Mandela in his last few years. He was been used as an
advertising and public relations tool. Someone wins Big Brother let’s go meet
Madiba, someone raps a song let’s go meet Madiba, someone becomes president
let’s go meet Madiba, someone wins an Oscar let’s go meet Madiba. Ala.
Mandela even in his final months was flashed on our TV screens with the current
South African president Jacob Zuma smiling. There was only a five-year
difference between Kaunda and Mandela, so definitely Kaunda’s media runs must
be taking their toll on him. I am not sure how much of say Kaunda actually does
have on who visits him for a courtesy call or who uses his image for
endorsements. I hope the people around him help him reduce his workload.
I think to
put an end to these unnecessary courtesy calls and making Dr. Kenneth Kaunda a
tourist attraction I would advise him to get five buttock-biting Dobermans.
Anyone who wants to see him would have to go through them. If they succeed to
get past the Dobermans then they are worthy to shake his hands.
It is in
order to begin this piece with a moment of
silence............................................... Thank you. As you drive
along Haile Selassie Avenue which is lined with trees on either side creating a
serene shaded environment, it is easy to notice some significant buildings. The
towering Intercontinental Hotel or the heavily shielded Japan Embassy on the sides.
Then somewhere along this same road is the Examination Council of Zambia (ECZ),
hidden but it is there. People build beautiful structures, magnificent buildings
to get noticed, ECZ went ahead and did the extraordinary. They went ahead and
put two of the ugliest, horrendous, pitiful excuse of art sculptures to grace
this land. This is the moment we all wail
Mubita Nawa's Twit
The attention was initially drawn to
these things when motivational speaker Mubita Nawa twitted that at 50 years
Zambia cannot be having such shameful pieces of structures. Before I saw the
picture, I thought that he was just exaggerating and it could definitely not be
that bad. I was right to some extent, it wasn't bad it was preposterous. These
disproportionate structures had trunk legs, blotted fingers, bend heads, and
crooked broad noses. Themale and female
are seen to be wearing graduation gowns and holding certificates. These statues
resemble miniature versions of what I would make out of clay as a five year
old. Are we a country of citizens who accept mediocrity, because now this is
getting out of hand. Putting something that is clearly repulsive and expecting people
to understand and get on with their lives is unacceptable.
The Statues of Shame
The most perplexing thing is how ECZ
allowed those two statues to be erected outside their walls in the first place.
ECZ paid money from their budget for them, they should have envisioned what the
completed work would look like. If that
was it, then I am afraid. Whoever inspected those statues and nodded their
heads that what they saw was worthy and acceptable should be questioned. The
artist who also created these statues should be embarrassed and needs to
introspect on the torture they have done to our eyes. They are amateurish and
it would not be a crime if these were a grade 7 school project. Between the
artist and the people who inspected the artist work, just how did they convince
themselves that such appalling pieces should grace our roads? How? Another wail in unison shall we.
The general public agrees that the
statues should be removed and replaced with something better or nothing at all.
Apparently ECZ have come up with a defense which in my opinion is illogical.
The ECZ spokesperson Ronald Tembo
said, "We wish to inform the public that the purpose for putting the
statues at the entrance of the ECZ was to enable the general public to easily
locate the ECZ as they came through to access various Council services. The
statues therefore arose from various complaints we received from those who
could not easily locate us in the past. We did not necessarily intend to have
beautiful and expensive pieces of art work as we could and still cannot afford
the cost of such art works."
He added, “We therefore wish to inform the public
that the purpose for putting the statues at the entrance of the ECZ was to
enable the general public to easily locate the ECZ as they came through to
access various Council services.” “The statues therefore arose from various
complaints we received from those who could not easily locate us in the past.
We did not necessarily intend to have beautiful and expensive pieces of art
work as we could and still cannot afford the cost of such art works.”ECZ
Spokesperson Ronald Tembo said the institution has taken time to study the
postings on social media by Mr Nawa and has concluded that the debate on the
art pieces was over blown. “We wish to state that the ECZ is a public
institution which has an open door policy. From the outset, we therefore
acknowledge receipt of the opinions from Mr Nawa and the general public on the
issue,” Mr Tembo said in a statement. He added, “We therefore wish to inform the public
that the purpose for putting the statues at the entrance of the ECZ was to
enable the general public to easily locate the ECZ as they came through to
access various Council services.” “The statues therefore arose from various
complaints we received from those who could not easily locate us in the past.
We did not necessarily intend to have beautiful and expensive pieces of art
work as we could and still cannot afford the cost of such art work
not like this in 1964, during that time the youth were well behaved and morally
upright. The youth of this generation have lost their culture, if they are not
having orgies in classrooms, sex tapes are being made, and the latest
revelation is that young girls are the ones seducing men. What on earth are we
going to do with this generation? I as Frustrated Brotha have come up with a
solution to this country's dilemma of a degenerating youth. It is about time we
had a Ministry of Moral Behaviour with a full cabinet minister at the helm.
There is a
lot that needs to be done to curb the immorality that is flaunting itself on
the streets of our country. It is inconceivable that such abominations are
happening in our very own backyards. Clearly recent media reports reveal more
diabolical acts than the previous one. The Ministry of Moral Behaviour will be
well positioned to address these issues. It will be responsible for creating policies
that ensure the utmost behaviour of this country's citizens is upheld. Citizens
who are in the habit of tainting the moral fibre of this country beware.
Top on the
table of the ministry's agenda should be tabling the issue of a how Europe and
America is contaminating Zambia. This issue needs to be discussed in cabinet,
because there are clear indications globalisation is to blame for the erosion
of our culture. While that is being discussed the ministry will also be busy
preparing another policy to ensure that every single television programme is
censored before it is shown, text messages are edited before being sent to the
receiver and just block a whole lot unnecessary websites. This is because our
youth are being intoxicated by what they are seeing in the movies and series
then re-enacting them in real life. If censoring will not wield the youth in
the right direction then maybe the ministry will need to consider dishing out
stiffer punishments for individuals who do not want to stick in line. The
punishments should act as a definite deterrent to anyone who is flirting with
the idea immorality.
We must not
forget that all this immorality that currently exists is UnZambian and it is
not our culture. The Ministry of Moral Behaviour will ensure that this nation's
morals are upheld and that requires monitoring every little thing every citizen
does. The mission will be to completely eradicate immoral behaviour because the
ministry will not cast the first stone but the first brick in order to save our
I think I need a word with Sepp Blatter. Why on earth would
he go staging the World Cup at the very same time as my beloved Wimbledon?
Isn't he aware that these are life changing decisions that I have to make
between watching a world cup match and tennis a match. It is difficult for the
brotha to choose. When it comes down to biting the bullet, however, I find
myself pressing the button on the remote for the tennis. This is probably something
that none tennis fans may ever fully understand. One of the reasons why I
decide to watch tennis is that football somehow deliberately decides to stay in
the Stone Age.
Being a fan of any sport is a tough job, there is so much
emotional investment that goes in. It is very hard to make the relationship
work. These are the original marriage vows, through thick and thin, through
victory or loss, our relationship is unbreakable. People do not shed tears and
have heart attacks for nothing. To this day I admit that one of the happiest
days of my life was when Zambia lifted the Africa Cup of Nations in 2012. There
are just not enough adjectives and superlatives to explain the joy that I felt.
Then as a tennis fan after witnessing Rafael Nadal win Roger Federer Wimbledon afterlosing twice to the same man two years in
role, in what many including I believe was the best tennis match ever played
was just sublime. I am a football and tennis fan, but I am definitely a much
bigger tennis fan. I mean being a football fan is hard and painful, at its
current state I don't think I can invest any more than I am in this
relationship. This is merely because football still refuses to incorporate
Almost every other sport has progressed on well with
technology football have only flirted with it this year by using goal line
technology. Therefore, you have very painful losses as a result of whistle
happy referees, unfair penalties awarded (anyone recall the Ivory Coast versus
Greece game), cruel red cards, offside goals and the list is countless. The
difference between a nation having the pride of reaching a World Cup quarter
final hangs in the hands of fallible human being. In tennis when a player loses
you know that they lost fair and square not because some umpire made one lousy
call. This happens because tennis has the revolutionary technology called Hawk
Eye. Therefore, a player has a choice to challenge calls to determine whether
the ball was in or out. They are given a maximum of three challenges per set.
Every victory or loss was on the player's racket and as a fan it is much easier
to accept and less painful. Rugby, cricket, golf, hockey and tennis have review
systems so what is so special about football.
Hawk Eye System
People say it will slow the game down. Oh really, how about
when a player gets injured, substitutions, when the keeper is on a time wasting
mission isn't that slowing down the game already. You do not permit reviews at
every incidence, all that should be allowed is each coach is entitled to three
reviews per game. So they will know that they need to use those reviews wisely.
This is 2014, having a review system is the most fair way to go. There is a lot
of money, pride, careers and our very fragile hearts at stake here. Therefore,
it is time that football joins the programme and introduces the review system
into the game.
While the football world is mulling over the shock
departures of Spain and Italy, we in tennis are speechless over the exits of
Serena and Nadal. When the football world speaks of the penalties, us in tennis
are biting our nails over the tie-breaks. And of course, we hold our breathes
for the women's and men's finals this weekend, as the gladiators battle it out
on the grass of Wimbledon. The Hawk Eye system has not made the game any less
interesting in fact it adds a new dimension to the thrill. It is time we drag
the football world out of the Stone Age. Until football joins the party I will
be having some strawberry and cream (tennis
fans know what I mean) as I behold the gladiators who take centre stage on the grass of Wimbledon.
that people are getting to grips with their mobile phones and making videos to
send via Whatsapp. Recently a video has popped up of a woman stripping another
woman who she accused of having an affair with her husband. Apparently, this
video shows the woman being stripped in the presence of men who decided to take
advantage of the situation too. This inhumane mob justice has been noticed by
the police and they are after the culprit. However, even after dangling a K5,
000 reward for any information no one has come up with the details. It is
either the people of Luanshya are wealthy or they take the mafia code of Omerta (Code of Silence) too seriously,
because had it been me that money would have been in my account already.
I must confess
from the onset that I have not seen this video and I am not anxious to even see
it. Therefore, the knowledge I have is what I have read, heard from people who
have seen it and also from what I heard on radio when it was played. From the
audio that I heard of the incidence, the wife who was stripping the woman was
ironically threatening to take the lady to the police. The poor woman could be
heard crying in the background while various men hollered at her. The men are also seen pulling out their phones and attempting to get pictures of the whole fiasco. Yes, this
woman may have been sleeping with her husband but did she deserve to be treated
in such a manner?
in attempting to deal with the "Husband Snatcher" indirectly made an
excuse for her husband. She just indicated that he was not the problem but the
woman she was stripping. Therefore, instead of dragging him by his feet into
the street and shaming him for his philandering ways, she decided to deal with
the symptom and not the root cause of the problem. According to what I have
heard the husband is nowhere to be seen in the video and goes unmentioned as
the humiliated lady is begging for mercy. Does the wife really think that she
will be stripping every woman her husband might go out with as a way of
deterring them, then she might be stripping a whole lot more women.
humiliating enough to be stripped naked but then how does one describe the
feeling when the video of the incident is floating around social media. In as
much as we may be sympathising with the lady, isn't society perpetrating this
abuse by casually distributing the video from one phone to another. On the
other hand, it can be argued that it is only through the sharing of the video that
brought attention to victimisation of the woman. It is through the same
Whatsapp that she may have some form of justice even if it may thrust her into
the spotlight. We definitely tread a delicate line with social media with all
the good it can do, it is also capable of unleashing its venomous evil.
case, there may be some people who will applaud the woman for her actions believing
that the stripped woman got what she deserved if not less. Then there are
others like myself who feel that such inhumane degradation should never be
applauded in any form or fashion. The person she should be sorting out her
marital issues with is the husband. The wife needs to be answerable for her
actions. Luanshya is a small town, it is no New York. Surely someone knows her,
they just have to be brave enough to break the Omerta.
Over 250 girls were kidnapped from their
school on 14 April 2014 by Islamist extremist group Boko
Haram in Nigeria. The world decided to forget about them for
about two weeks because, until we felt that it had become worthy enough for our
attention. I mean even their very own president Goodluck Jonathan only made an
official statement two weeks after the girls went missing. This is nothing
short of an utter shame, what was the world expecting? The girls would be
delivered back with ribbons in their hair. These girls may have been kidnapped
kilometres away in Nigeria, far from Zambia and yet we have a reason why we
I have a young sister of similar age to the
girls who have been kidnapped and like them she too is at a boarding school, I
cannot even begin to imagine what I would do if I was told the next morning
that some militia had kidnapped her. It is this very thought that to a small
degree I am able to empathise with the hundreds of fathers, mothers, brothers
and sisters who find themselves in this predicament. The Nigerian school girls
were kidnapped by a group that has become notorious for bombing attacks in
Nigeria on several occasions. It must have equally been painful for the parents
of the girls to cry for the return of their daughters and yet no one paying
attention to their plight. It was as if the world had grown tired of their
There is a sense that the world is getting,
if it is not already fatigued by all of the problems in Africa. Every day
brings with it the same old problems over and over, even the news networks are
running out of novel ways to present the challenges. What is further
frustrating is that even after decades of independence African countries are
still unable to render any assistance to their neighbours and other countries
on the continent. African countries decided to add their voices to the plight
of the girls when countries like the United States of America and the United
Kingdom decided to get actively involved. Our government has sent a message of
solidarity to the Nigerian government in the recent week.
I may never be in a position to understand
what it is like living in a country that has Islamist extremist like Boko
Haram, or to be afraid to go to the market for fear of what will blow up in my
face. I may live in a country that does not witness kidnappings and hostage
situations. I may also be getting tired of hearing of the world’s problems.
However, now is not the time to forget these girls, we cannot believe that 200
girls somewhere in the forest is an unfortunate case. The girls did not ask to
be kidnapped; they should not be punished for seeking an education.
On the other hand we should be angry at the
Nigerian authorities for doing nothing earlier on when the girls were taken. We
should be angry at our own African authorities for not saying a word or
offering solutions to our brothers and sisters in this position. We should be
angry at ourselves for changing the channel each time the story of the girls
appeared on the news. I should be angry at me that it has taken one month
before the girls story has featured on my blog. Until the girls are back home, may
we not grow tired of requesting our authorities to do something and let the
noise only get louder. You may begin by joining the Facebook Page Zambia Cares .
If I was ever a professor of Psychology the
Solange (Beyonce’s young sister) attack on Jay-Z would be a case study. There
are so many dimensions to the attack and the mere fact that we are not
currently privy to what it was about, we are left to speculate. The setting of
an elevator with nowhere to run or hide was a setting that Solange must have
thought about before her onslaught. Perhaps the upsetting issue about all this
fiasco is that why the rest of the world is not upset about Solange’s attack on
Jigga man. I can only imagine the backlash and wrath that Jay-Z would have had
to deal with if it was the other way around, just ask Chris Brown.
Solange assaults Jay-Z and you have some
quarters of women praising her instead, “Way to go sister!” This is absolutely ridiculous;
this was a woman with heels, kicking someone with all the strength she could
muster despite being held back by a bodyguard. Okay, she has one hell of a kick. Solange abused Jay-Z in that
elevator with her punches, insults (I
presume) and above all she bruised Jay-Z’s ego. Unlike the Chris Brown and
Rihanna bust up where we did not have video footage, in this case we have
hardcore evidence. Solange cannot deny that she did not attack Jay-Z and he can
proudly claim that he did not hit back. Awe
kwena, he deserves a trophy. Human instinct would be to retaliate when
threatened but Jigga man kept his cool. I can only imagine how many brothers would
have been as calm as he was, because trust me if it was others in that
situation Solange would have begged to be let out of the elevator.
When Chris Brown beat Rihanna, Obama said
something, Oprah said something, women’s groups said something, other musicians
said something, and Chris Brown’s sponsors dropped him. Solange viciously
attacks Jay-Z and Obama is quiet, Oprah is quiet, the women’s groups are not
marching and above all no one is calling this gender based violence. This silence
is annoying and very upsetting, Solange is not feeling any wrath for her
actions and in fact it is Jay-Z who is becoming the laughing stock of world. This
attitude of silence gives the impression that it is okay for a woman to beat up
a man and it is a sin for a man to hit a woman.
Jay-Z had the capacity to put Solange in
her place and prove to the world that he is “Macho”, but I guess he did the
most “Macho” thing by stepping away and let raged Solange unleash whatever was
burning in her heart. Like we are always told that there is never a reason why
you should hit a woman, in the same vein it should be said that there should
never be a reason why a woman should hit a man. In this instance talking about
it over a family dinner was not an option.
Now back to the case study and Beyonce in
particular who was in the elevator while her sister attacked her husband
appears to back away and watch the action. She did not attempt to stop her
sister neither did she try to shield her husband. I reckon the thought that was
rushing through her head was the paparazzi are going to have a field day when
that elevator door opens. There should have been audio in that elevator, yaba.
Jay-Z, Beyonce and Solange leaving the elevator
At the time of writing this piece, we still
do not know why Solange went all crazy on Jay-Z. However, whereas we are happy
to demonise a man who lays his hands on a woman, we must equally do the same
when the tables are turned. The excuse that men are able to protect themselves
therefore cannot be victims is rubbish. Yes, men can protect themselves and instinct
tells us that we do that by hitting back. However, if we begin to assume that
it is acceptable for a woman to hit a man because she is angry then we are
losing the plot. Solange should not be glorified in any way rather she must be
condemned with as much venom as would have been spat Jay-Z’s way if he was the
one throwing the punches.
Last week I was a victim of a theft. The
bloody burger got away with my car battery, while I was asleep. I don’t know
whether I should say thankfully the battery was all he got away with because he
could have gotten away with much more. Thieves
can be such an unnecessary inconvenience and for a moment I could empathise
with all those individuals who perform mob justice and want burn them alive.
I mean here is a fellow who is able bodied to be capable to climb a wall fence,
remove and carry a car battery and have the audacity to return for the car radio
can find something to do. Then what added further to my frustration was the
service I received from the police, I even wondered why I bothered going there.
I must be brainwashed by watching all these
CSI series where I think that the police will come dust the car for finger
prints, check the scene for any eye lashes, or footmarks, interrogate the
neighbours and then voila catch the thief. Snap
out of it frustrated brotha. When I
went to report the matter at the Manda Hill police post, I knew I was far away
from any CSI scenario when the police officer began to write my statement in a
big record book. In the age of computers, our police posts are still writing
details in a record book. So if the book
gets stolen or it rains, then all the records are gone for good. I was then
asked to return later if I wanted to open a docket because there was no
stationery. For one reason or another our police posts seem to be in the habit
of running out of stationery and often we are asked to go photocopy police
report sheets. I mean seriously, someone just stole my car battery and the last
thing I need to hear is that a docket cannot be opened because of lack of
paper. Cry my beloved Zambia. I was
then told that when I return then if I am lucky they may visit the scene if it
is not disturbed. Slowly I realised that my CSI wish would not be coming true.
I returned home with no police officer coming to check the crime scene and
without a docket in hand.
I returned later for my docket, but while I
waited for it a gentleman came into the station claiming that his phones had
been stolen. He narrated his story and the officer got down his statement once
again in the big black book. Then the officer mentioned that once the
formalities had been done that she need to take the form to Northmead but there
was no transport. So here was a police post that had no stationery and had no
transport, just my luck. The
gentleman quickly offered to provide transport as long as he could get his
phones traced and handed back to him. I too was capable to provide transport,
so what would the poor person do in such a situation.
The police service is supposed to serve
every Zambian citizen regardless of race, tribe, or economic status. However,
in this nation we have various people at various economic levels. Where is a
poor person who is barely making ends meet supposed to find the money to start
photocopying a police report sheet when that money could be used to buy bread.
Or where is he supposed to find transport to ferry the police officers to the
scene of the theft, by the way our officers do not use buses they need a taxi. The
officers use the taxi to take them to the scene and back to the police post.
Taxis are not cheap and depending on the distance can be quite expensive. The taxi
fare alone could be the cost of a bag of mealie meal. This simply means that if
you are poor you might not be able to report the matter to the police for it to
be adequately handled.
There are certain aspects of police
investigation that I can accept that we do not have the resources for things such
as forensic labs but lack of no stationery and transport is not one that I can
accept. The police need to have the basic minimum to handle the cases that are
presented to them. It should not be dependent whether someone can provide
transport or not. It is important for the relevant authorities to ensure that
the police posts have relevant resources to carry out their duties otherwise
police posts might as well put a poster that we will only attend to you if you
come with your own stationery and transport. In the meantime, I need to watch
more of Muvi TVs The Constables rather CSI to get more proper representation of
“Even if I have lost some important parts
of my body, I still want to get rich,” these are the words that were uttered by
Chamangeni Zulu. This is a man who just
had his manhood and three toes eaten by a hyena after a witchdoctor advised him
to do so. The witchdoctor apparently told him to go into a bush, strip naked
and wait for a hyena to come and eat part of his body. Ku nkala chipuba siti lesa koma chipubidwe. This is a story that
borders on the ridiculous if not the insane. In the quest for riches, I guess some
people sail the seas looking for lost treasure; others strip and wait for a hyena
to chew what they wish.
Now that I am done venting,
there is a small portion of me that is trying to empathise with Chamangeni. He
is originally from Malawi and for the past four months had been working in
Chipata before he decided he had it will all this poverty nonsense. The man had
probably tried all avenues available to him but he saw no hope of escaping the
chains of poverty that are gripping many. I know it is easy for people who
bought the newspapers to read his story while sipping coffee in an air
conditioned office to find Chamangeni mad. Some would say that why didn’t he
work hard if he wanted to be rich or just be content with his portion. It could be easy for someone like myself to
say that, after all my parents were able to educate me, I have opportunities at
every corner, I type this blog on a laptop and I have access to the internet
anytime I please. Dreaming of being rich is not a farfetched.
is a man who perhaps only has primary education at best, maybe not because he
did not want to go school but his parents could not afford to keep him in
school. Then he is taken to work the fields so that his family can get food on
his table. Hypothetically he marries early and has two children one year in
between because he does not know what family planning is. He finds a job
working on a farm just to prevent his family from starving, yet he still dreams
of becoming rich. He does not know how that will happen because life did not
give him an easy hand. He knows he cannot till the land fast or strong enough
that his labour will be rewarded to make him live the lavish life he envies. He
will even be lucky if he even gets the crumbs of the rich.
There was no one available to
offer him a solution on how to become rich. I have Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad,
Poor Dad to read, there is a Mubita Nawa motivational conference I can attend, I
see GBM get his wife a Range Rover on Facebook to emulate and I have the
qualifications to help open doors. Chamangeni does not have this privilege. Therefore,
should we blame him for taking a solution offered to him by a witchdoctor? When
no one was showing him the path to the riches that he desired the witchdoctor
showed him a way. Chamangeni may have tried the conventional route and it failed,
so it was about time he used the unconventional route- Strip and wait for a
Chamangeni’s story is that of
many people in poverty in Zambia, even though some may not push the boundaries
like he did, they too still dream to be rich. For us who read the story in the
papers and posted it on Facebook may consider ourselves lucky. We too could
also have been in Chamangeni’s position, wishing to be rich but not knowing
how. We would have shouted in Marie Antoinette fashion, “Why doesn’t he just
work hard if he wants to be rich.” Yet we forget that we neither provide the
tools nor the show him the route to get to wealth. Still on his hospital bed no
one was able to show him the first steps towards riches, hence he boldly
declared his determination, “Even if I have lost some
important parts of my body, I still want to get rich.”