Thursday, 11 September 2014

Blame IT On the Jersey

Chipolopolo have been sliding down the ladder of the FIFA rankings as 14 August 2014 Zambia was ranked 84th in the world. Soon we might find ourselves outside the top 100. Yes my beloved Chipolopolo is turning into a minnow of African football. It was just two years ago when we were African champions and today we are a shadow of our glory days. Our quest to reclaim the African title began last weekend against Mozambique and with the latest 2-1 defeat to Cape Verde, we might as well be writing our eulogy. Wait how do we lose to Cape Verde? It's Cape Verde no offence, if I have any Cape Verdian readers. There must be an explanation to our terrible performance and I may have an answer. It is the jersey.

Great Jersey- We became Champions

There are other bloggers and writers who will offer you an explanation for the unfathomable downslide but none of the theories will be able to be as concise as mine. Some will tell you that it is the coach's poor tactics, the players that did not show up on the day, incompetent administration, hostile opponents and even juju if you wish. Still all these explanations are unable to give us any tangible linkage to the teams dismal performances, that are becoming ever increasingly shameful.
Ok Jersey- Qualified for AFCON 2013
The correlation of Chipolopolo's embarrassing defeats and lackluster shows can be linked to the jersey. Ever since the jersey went from 'Great' to 'What the Hell is That?' the performances have also changed from 'Champions' to 'Bottom of the Qualifying Group' as at today. Moment of silence please. It must be something do with the Chipolopolo jersey trust me.

The Chipolopolo jersey has been changed twice from the winning jersey and with each change it has become uglier. It is like Nike are giving an intern some wax crayons to design the Chipolopolo jersey. I am not fashion savy but I know ugly when I see it a mile away. The Africa Cup winning jersey could be worn with pride and the current one, oh my goodness. The current jersey even if the Football Association of Zambia gave it to me for free, I would turn it into my pajama. There is no way I would be walking the streets with that terrible jersey. I think the Chipolopolo boys feel the same. They might just not have the courage to speak out that the jersey is affecting their play
What the Hell? Jersey- Might not qualify for AFCON 2015
The solution is simple, give the boys a better looking jersey and the wins will begin to flow. For now we should just beg Nike not to give the wax crayon to a pre-schooler lest the results we shall see will take some of us to an early grave.

PS: In case you are feeling nostalgic about our glory days make sure you look out for the movie 'e18hteam'.

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